I was riding home with my friends A and B after class. We're all law students, and A was telling B about closing statements he had heard in court earlier that week, when a kid behind them asked, "are you a lawyer?"
A: no I'm a law student and I can't really give advice
kid: can I ask you a question?
A: is it about you or one of your friends?
kid: no, it's just a hypothetical... what happens if you get caught for selling pot, but instead of pot it's really oregano?
I didn't really hear much of the conversation after that, but A spent the next two stops before we got off listening to this kid's "hypotheticals".... yeah people suck
CTA
CTA
Friday, June 10, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Overheard by a friend at school
This girl is riding a train and this guy going on about the white devil, and shouting about the cracker...
she looks around and she's the only Caucasian on the train... So she's gotta be the cracker, right? So he keeps going on about sending the white devil back to hell, and how oh it's okay b/c we've got Obama, and he's black, and we've got Kennedy and he's black b/c he got shot in the head and Clinton is black because of his sex scandal etc., and burn the white devil back to hell. So then she smells rubbing alcohol, and the floor is COVERED in it. So she's panicking, afraid that the crackhead is going to try to light her on fire.
But then he splashed alcohol on the guy behind him, and they got him to calm down enough that she could get up and get off the train.
Wow. Just wow.
Red line, 9pm
Riding the train home from class. There's some sort of soda bottle rolling around on the floor. A clearly homeless guy wanders over, dumps out the contents of the bottle, then puts it back on the floor, letting it roll around clearly, and soaking everyone's shoes.
April 16, noon, Red Line
Riding the train home from doing a favor from my friend, when a guy who had decided to perfume himself with a healthy dose of pot got on. Everyone moved away from him.
Red line, some point in the past
From my friend N,
Guy got off the train, then before the train moved away, he stared at me and pulled out his junk. Classy.
Guy got off the train, then before the train moved away, he stared at me and pulled out his junk. Classy.
Red Line, couple of weeks ago, 9pm
Riding the L with a girl friend and a guy friend, talking about a guy friend who wasn't there. This old lady who kept bumping into me mumbled at us, and when we asked her what she said, she asked if he was our boyfriend and how we managed our career and personal life. I just stared at her until I got off the train.
Belmont Stop last August, 7pm
I was going to meet friends for dinner, and just wanted to read my book in peace. Unfortunately, I answered some guy's question about the time, and then I got cornered into listening him talk about how I should join his Buddhist group. Unfortunately I have class during then, but if you're interested, his name is Rudolph, his phone number is 773-561-4234 ext. 613 and they meet on Tuesdays at 6:30 at 1155 S. Wabash.
Blue Line
From C:
I was riding the blue line home from class one day, when I saw a guy having an argument with himself... but in the style of Deb/Flo from Finding Nemo in the window. When the train came out of the tunnel, I heard him say "hey, where did you go?"
I was riding the blue line home from class one day, when I saw a guy having an argument with himself... but in the style of Deb/Flo from Finding Nemo in the window. When the train came out of the tunnel, I heard him say "hey, where did you go?"
Belmont, Aug 2, noon
Guy sitting next to me on the platform is drinking a miller and not even trying to hide it. I approve.
TFLN
219: The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
July 27 3pm #70 Bus
A guy got on, carrying a paper plate of food - not just a bag of chips or anything, but a full paper plate of chicken and some green stuff that he was eating with a plastic fork. When he got on, the bus driver made a little fuss, but the guy sat down across from me and just kept eating his food. He nodded at me when I got off at the next stop, with my 12-pack of beer.
Oh yeah, the guy wasn't wearing a shirt - just a pair of red shorts and a baseball cap and flops.
Oh yeah, the guy wasn't wearing a shirt - just a pair of red shorts and a baseball cap and flops.
April 29, 3pm #29 Bus
From a female friend:
I was sitting next to a guy and something was touching my leg. My bookbag was on my lap and I thought it was just his bag, so I crossed my leg to move it away, and whatever was touching me was still there. I lifted my bag up, saw that he was touching my thigh with two fingers, and said, "EXCUSE ME" really loudly to him. I didn't see his face, but he literally ran off the bus because we were stopped.
I was sitting next to a guy and something was touching my leg. My bookbag was on my lap and I thought it was just his bag, so I crossed my leg to move it away, and whatever was touching me was still there. I lifted my bag up, saw that he was touching my thigh with two fingers, and said, "EXCUSE ME" really loudly to him. I didn't see his face, but he literally ran off the bus because we were stopped.
Addison Stop, April 27 2pm
From A:
I was riding the redline up to Addison to meet a friend for Coffee and this guy in some sort of workman's jumpsuit kept smelling my hair and inching closer. He smelled REALLY bad. I was contemplating moving but then he got off.
I was riding the redline up to Addison to meet a friend for Coffee and this guy in some sort of workman's jumpsuit kept smelling my hair and inching closer. He smelled REALLY bad. I was contemplating moving but then he got off.
Brown Line
From N:
A lady sat down on my train with a bag full of kittens. I really wanted to ask her about them, but my stop was next.
A lady sat down on my train with a bag full of kittens. I really wanted to ask her about them, but my stop was next.
April 13, 11pm Red Line
From L:
Two guys in white hoodies that say "guardian angles" and red berets are making sweeps of the train car. At every station, they get out, glance for something (trouble I'm guessing) and then get back on. It's somehow both unsettling and comforting. I think they're from a vigilante group.
Two guys in white hoodies that say "guardian angles" and red berets are making sweeps of the train car. At every station, they get out, glance for something (trouble I'm guessing) and then get back on. It's somehow both unsettling and comforting. I think they're from a vigilante group.
Census Ad
"If we don't know how many people we have, how do we know how many brains we need?"
Two words: zombie apocalypse
Two words: zombie apocalypse
March 30, 146 Bus 3:30 pm
Bus stopped at a light, and we see a homeless guy lying on the ground next to a bench, as if he had been on the bench at one point, but had fallen off.
March 28, 2pm Red Line
A homeless guy opens the door between cars and walks down the car, not saying anything or looking at anybody, but holding up a hair curler, still in the package, as if he's trying to entice someone to sell it. He got to the end of the car, and went through that door to maybe peddle his goods to other riders.
March 27, 3pm Red Line
My friends L and D were on the red line this afternoon
So we got on the L, and we sat down behind this person who's completely slumped over, head down beneath the seat slumped over. Then, across the aisle from her there's this, almost looking mentally retarded man, and he had this younger, also mentally challenged appearing person who's helping him with his things (he had bags and things, and was talking to him and it was weird). So this older guy is talking to the younger one, and how he studied all these different things like archaeology, including the Mayan ruins, like he actually went there, in college, and how it took him five years (real hard, five years) to graduate. So about this time the train stopped at the station, and we're told we'll be standing momentarily. And then the paramedics come - they have a specialized rolling chair with wheels but only on the back that reminded me of a furniture dolly because they hoisted the woman and slumped her in it. So now the older man is going on about how he's a Navy SEAL and veteran and fought in Vietnam and how Navy SEALs are the best and how he's the one that called it in, yup he's the one that called it in. So the middle paramedic just responds, yeah thanks for nothing.
So they cart the drugged woman away, and we go about another stop, and people leave the seats near the older man, the handicap reserved seats, and he puts his feet up. So now this family with like, two women and two kids get on and sit next to the crazy man's feet. And he's going on about how he's a Vietnam Vet and he has cellulitus and something else wrong with his feet and "touch my feet and I'll call the police! Go ahead try it and see what happens!" Then one of the women starts going off about how people think black people are crazy, but look at this man.
And he glared at me when I got off the train.
So we got on the L, and we sat down behind this person who's completely slumped over, head down beneath the seat slumped over. Then, across the aisle from her there's this, almost looking mentally retarded man, and he had this younger, also mentally challenged appearing person who's helping him with his things (he had bags and things, and was talking to him and it was weird). So this older guy is talking to the younger one, and how he studied all these different things like archaeology, including the Mayan ruins, like he actually went there, in college, and how it took him five years (real hard, five years) to graduate. So about this time the train stopped at the station, and we're told we'll be standing momentarily. And then the paramedics come - they have a specialized rolling chair with wheels but only on the back that reminded me of a furniture dolly because they hoisted the woman and slumped her in it. So now the older man is going on about how he's a Navy SEAL and veteran and fought in Vietnam and how Navy SEALs are the best and how he's the one that called it in, yup he's the one that called it in. So the middle paramedic just responds, yeah thanks for nothing.
So they cart the drugged woman away, and we go about another stop, and people leave the seats near the older man, the handicap reserved seats, and he puts his feet up. So now this family with like, two women and two kids get on and sit next to the crazy man's feet. And he's going on about how he's a Vietnam Vet and he has cellulitus and something else wrong with his feet and "touch my feet and I'll call the police! Go ahead try it and see what happens!" Then one of the women starts going off about how people think black people are crazy, but look at this man.
And he glared at me when I got off the train.
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